They may have been star-crossed lovers, and they might have tied the knot and spent a night together consummating their marriage (even if their warring families didn't know), but I don't think ol' Juliet had time to plop out Romeo's baby before dying. As we've all seen countless times: Romeo went off to banishment, Juliet faked her death, Romeo came back and assumed she was dead and killed himself, then she woke up and killed herself. There was no time for pregnancy and baby delivery.

Nevertheless, The Hollywood Reporter posts that Universal has grabbed the rights to a novel called Juliet, from Danish author Anne Fortier. To be published sometime next year, the novel "toggles from medieval Siena to the present day in a story about a woman who discovers she may be descended from the people who inspired one of the most popular and tragic love stories of all time."

Unless they're talking about ol' Shakespeare himself, this is just not possible. Unless ... did both the Capulets and Montagues have new babies that fell in love in the very same way -- and survived? I imagine that the catch-word "inspired" will allow them to twist the Romeo and Juliet story a bit. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I am intrigued.

First Hamlet 2, now a descendant of Romeo and Juliet. What's next? A horror movie called Titus Andronicus 2: Lucius Goes Mad?

Note release dates, which are spaced from today through next Sunday.

Burn After Reading (12/21)
The Coen Brothers shine a bright light on Washington spy silliness, and then, by extension, all of the silly extremes we indulge in, producing a very funny comic fable that should reward multiple viewings. With George Clooney and Brad Pitt. Available on DVD and Blu-ray. Buy it.

The House Bunny (12/19)
Anna Farris' comic brilliance transcends the shopworn material. As Erik Davis suggested, "enjoy the movie for what it is: A simple, seductive slice of late-summer sunshine." Available on DVD and Blu-ray. Rent it.

Mamma Mia! The Movie (12/16)
I think you'd do better to spend your money on another album by Abba; this musical has bewildering choreography and a wandering camera that doesn't know where it should be. Still, Meryl Streep has a lot of fun with it, and her presence covers a multitude of sins. Available on DVD and Blu-ray. Rent it.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (12/16)
Big budget, big battle scenes, and big nothing when all is said and done. A huge waste of talent and time that fails to entertain on the most basic of levels. (But I still like Maria Bello!) Available on DVD (wide screen and full screen) and Blu-ray. Skip it.

Death Race (12/21)
Jason Statham I can understand, but how did Joan Allen keep a straight face? A monstrous disappointment for action fans, with its hyped-up CGI'd incomprehensible racing scenes. Available on DVD and Blu-ray "unrated," though you'd do better to leave it "unwatched." Skip it.

Also out: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (Amazon.com Exclusive) (12/19), The Women (2008) (12/19), Traitor (12/19), We Are Wizards (Amazon VOD).

I don't need much of an excuse to visit Austin, Texas. Find me an event that A) strings more than four movies together, and B) takes place at one of the Alamo Drafthouse movie theaters, and there's a good chance I'm checking my bank account, desperately scrambling for flight money. But despite the fact that I've done five SXSW visits, three Fantastic Fest trips, and a few more Austin journeys just for the heck of it ... I'd never attended a BNAT shindig. But I made it to the tenth annual Butt-Numb-a-Thon, and of course I had a damn good time once it got rolling.

Let's just do a quick run-through, chronologically speaking, and I'm listing just the FULL movies here. At the end I'll go over the various clips we were treated to...

No, not the remake -- although I am getting a little more excited about the flick than I thought I would, plus it's kinda silly to promote discussion on a film that isn't out yet. I'm talking about the original 1951 science fiction classic The Day the Earth Stood Still. (And "original" would really qualify, as this is one of the few genre greats that was based on an original screenplay and not adapted from an outside source.) Wrong-o! (See comments below.)

So it was next week's remake that first got me thinking, but what inspired me to bang out a few words was the brand-new two-disc special edition of TDTESS. (Standard or Blu-Ray!) More specifically, the awesomeness of this new edition. (Oh, and the Blu-Ray comes with a "Make Your Own Theremin Score" and a "Gort Command! Game." Nifty!) Those who own the older DVD will be pleased to note that most of the extras (including an excellent audio commentary between Robert Wise and Nicholas Meyer) have been ported over, but here's the important part: NEW supplements! An isolated score track (cooool), a new commentary with music and film historians (very cooool), and about eight NEW featurettes! Frankly if Fox can find something else to put on their next edition, I'll be pretty impressed.

Plus the disc opens with a 7.5-minute promo for the remake ... and I really think those guys might have come up with something cool. Like, a remake that takes a classic movie and fuses it with a few NEW ideas. No, the movie didn't NEED to be remade, but that doesn't mean a remake can't rock. I could be wrong, of course, but that's the vibe I'm getting right now. Plus <ahem> Jennifer Connelly is in it. Enough said.

The last time we heard from J. Michael Straczynski about his remake-but-not-really of The Forbidden Planet, it ended up being a lot of misquotes that the screenwriter quickly refuted. MTV caught up with him this week, and he explained his take on the classic sci-fi film: "I've always wanted to do something involving Forbidden Planet. It's my favorite science-fiction film of all time. I've watched the rights go from one company to the next. I heard that the rights at Dreamworks were about to expire and I went to Joel Silver and said I think if you move quickly you can grab it and I can write it. And he did. It's the dream of a lifetime to play in that universe."

While he remained relatively tight-lipped on the plot, Straczynski was careful to point out what it isn't. "I told Joel [Silver] this is how you do Forbidden Planet without pissing on the original that no one has ever thought of. When I told [the idea] to him, his eyes lit up. It's not a remake. It's not a reimagining. It's not exactly a prequel. You'll have to see it. It's something that no one has thought of when it comes to this storyline."

Our pal Christopher Campbell has put together a pretty cool top ten list over at Spout Blog. Inspired by the frenzy surrounding Paramore, who has been fortunate enough to land two songs on the Twilight soundtrack, he's put together a list of one hit wonders made by the movies. As memorable (and impossible to eradicate from easy listening stations) as Lookin' For Love, King of Wishful Thinking, and Stay (I Missed You) are, they're really just that one song from that one movie -- you know the one ... yeah, that movie! (By the way, the above three are from Urban Cowboy, Pretty Woman, and Reality Bites, respectively.)

The best thing about these lists is the debate they inspire. I disagree that Chris Isaak's Wicked Game fits the mold, as I think it's associated less with Wild at Heart than with a sandy and sexy Helena Christensen. In coming up with nominations of our own, Scott Weinberg and I immediately disagreed on whether Peter Cetera and Glory of Love from Karate Kid II qualified, or if Cetera being in Chicago was an automatic pass. (I say no, Scott says yes.) But we did manage to nominate Better Than Ezra's Circle of Friends from Empire Records, Gerard McMann's Cry Little Sister from The Lost Boys, and Chris DeBurgh's Lady in Red from Working Girl. Campbell, with his vast knowledge, could veto all three. What about you, readers? Give us some of your nominations, debate the popularity of Chris Isaak, or at least help us decide whether Glory of Love qualifies.

Last night, in preparation for the upcoming Keanu-centric remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still, I watched the 1951 original, which I had never seen. It's much more thoughtful than most of the men-from-outer-space B-movies that filled the era's drive-ins, emphasizing its message more than its special effects or suspense (though those elements are well represented too). It holds up pretty well for being 57 years old. I probably won't be nearly as interesting when I'm that age.

One scene made me laugh, though, and while I realize I'm not the first person to notice it, I wanted to share it in case you hadn't. It comes about 18 minutes in, when a humanoid alien has arrived and been under observation at a military hospital. Two doctors have this conversation about him and his home planet:

DOCTOR ONE: How old do you think he is?
DOCTOR TWO: Oh, I'd say 35, 38.
DOCTOR ONE: He told me this morning while I was examining him. He's 78.
DOCTOR TWO: Oh, I don't believe it.
DOCTOR ONE: Life expectancy is a hundred and thirty.
DOCTOR TWO: Well, how does he explain that?
DOCTOR ONE: He says their medicine is that much more advanced. He was very nice about it, but he made me feel like a third-class witch doctor!

And as they're having this conversation, both doctors are lighting up cigarettes. If you were writing a comedy sketch, you couldn't do better than having 1950s doctors appear mystified by another planet's advanced medicine while smoking cigarettes themselves. In fact, Saturday Night Live did something very similar to that in a 1993 sketch called "Trent Markham, Lung Doctor," where Phil Hartman played a chain-smoking 1950s TV doctor who had no idea how his patient had gotten "lung fever."

White Dog
Samuel Fuller's follow-up to The Big Red One was shelved by Paramount Pictures before its scheduled release in 1982 because of fears that its premise -- a white dog has been trained to attack black people -- would stir up more controversy than box office. Fuller was understandably outraged; in his autobiography, A Third Face, he wrote: "The studio has used me as a scapegoat for their lack of determination and courage." The film, co-written by Curtis Hanson (LA Confidential), with a score by the legendary Ennio Morricone, later received acclaim when it was released in Europe but never received a home video release in the US and has rarely been seen here. Kristy McNichol plays an actress who adopts the dog; Paul Winfield is as an anthropologist who tries to reverse the training. The Criterion Collection DVD includes a featurette with Hanson, producer Jon Davison, and Fuller's widow, plus a print interview with the dog trainer and essays by J. Hoberman and Armond White. I'm buying, but even if you're not a huge fan of Samuel Fuller, you'd want to check it out. Rent it.

Step Brothers
Combining Will Farrell, John C. Reilly, Richard Jenkins, and Mary Steenburgen under one roof, Step Brothers mines familiar territory with sharp timing and plenty of belly laughs. Mine is, admittedly, a distinctly minority opinion. Available on DVD (single-disc rated, single-disc unrated, two-disc unrated) and Blu-ray, with an audio commentary by Farrell, Reilly, director Adam McKay, and a score by Jon Brion. Other features include deleted scenes and alternate takes, a gag reel, 'making of,' and a couple of gag featurettes. Rent it.

Much more on Wanted, The X-Files: I Want to Believe, and The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian after the jump, plus Indies on DVD, Blu-ray Picks, and Collector's Corner.

It's a thorny dilemma, both legally and morally -- fittingly, the kind of story that, were it turned into a movie, might win a couple Oscars itself. The question is this: Does the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences have the legal right to buy back an Oscar winner's statuette if he or she (or his or her heirs) decides to get rid of it? What if the Oscar winner wants to sell it at auction and donate the money to charity? Can the Academy in good conscience demand return of the statuette and deprive the charity of those funds? See? Thorny!

For Academy Award winners since 1950, the legalities are fairly uncomplicated. The minute you win the sucker, you have to sign a contract saying that if you or your heirs ever decide you don't want the trophy anymore, the Academy has the right to buy it back for $10. That's the Academy's way of preventing the devaluation of the statuette. If any old schmo with a few hundred thousand dollars could "win" an Oscar at Jack Nicholson's garage sale, the prize would lose all meaning. As it is, of course, winning an Oscar is the single greatest achievement that a human being can ever hope to accomplish -- and the Academy wants to keep it that way.

The issue that's about to go before a Los Angeles judge and jury is what should happen to the best actress Oscar that Mary Pickford won for 1929's Coquette. (That's Pickford and the troublesome trophy in the picture.) The Academy didn't have the first-dibs rule back then -- but when Pickford won an honorary Oscar in 1976, she signed the agreement, and the Academy says that contract was retroactive to include her earlier trophy, too.

A few years ago, I wrote a Cinematical Seven on my favorite dysfunctional families in films. Everyone has a crazy messed-up movie family they love, whether it's the Hoovers in Little Miss Sunshine or the Bullocks in My Man Godfrey or the Corleones in the Godfather saga. I thought that this year, it would be fun to make a list of families that got along, worked together, and supported one another. You know, happy families ... but not dull, one-dimensional bundles of endless cheer.

It's a lot more difficult to find seven movies with happy-but-not-sappy families than it is to find the screwed-up kind, especially if you are looking for something more interesting than the Cleavers. Since I'm visiting my relatives for the Thanksgiving holidays, I asked them for suggestions. They were all very helpful, and I'm sorry I couldn't include all the suggestions, which ranged from The Thin Man to The Sound of Music to The Hills Have Eyes. Let me know what else we missed in the comments.

Toss this one right into the "unproven" files, but it's amusing enough to warrant some exploration: According to this tabloid (along with The Guardian and our pals at Spout), it seems that spouses Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes may be gearing up to remake Bernardo Bertolucci's controversially sexy romance drama Last Tango in Paris. The last time we saw Tom Cruise nail a spouse on camera was in 1999's Eyes Wide Shut, and I'm sure he probably groped Mimi Rogers in a movie once or twice. (Say what you like, but the guy does have good taste in women.)

"They need to have sex on screen, to prove their love" is what The Guardian's Xan Brooks had to say, which only serves to make the whole thing sound more like an April Fool's gag. The paragon of journalism that is Now Magazine indicates that the couple simply wants to star together in something sexy. I believe the title Basic Instinct was tossed out as an example. Yikes. In Mr. Brooks' tongue-in-cheek piece, he proposes a remake of Betty Blue. Double yikes. But if this entirely goofball story turns out to be 100% true, and Cruise / Holmes are intent on making a "sek-say" remake together ... Lolita makes a little more sense. Or maybe The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Seriously, that I'd go see.

But the question of the day is now this: Does it creep you out to see married couples "doin' it" in a movie? Hmmm, I think I smell a new Cinematical Seven topic.

Have you ever seen an animated film called Arabian Knight? Or The Princess and the Cobbler? If so then you witnessed the final resting place of one man's life work. His name is Richard Williams, he's a brilliant animator, and the story of how it took over twenty years for his labor of love to be completed, released, and mangled is pretty fascinating. Not to mention heart-wrenching. You can read the full history of the ill-fated project right here, but the short version is this: After more than two decades of development, sweat, and stress, Williams lost the rights to his baby and they eventually ended up in the hands of the Weinsteins. The result was Arabian Knight, which came and went with little fanfare.

BUT! Through the magic of Google Video and the passionate efforts of one fan, you can now see a fairly close approximation to the film that Mr. Williams intended. Yep, it's feature-length, unfinished in some parts, but pretty damn cool overall. Especially if you're a big animtion nut, but those folks have seen this "recobbled" cut by now, I'm sure. (And I hope I'm not getting this guy in trouble, but he's also posted full-length versions of two other animated obscurities: Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure (1977) and Twice Upon a Time (1983)!)

And yep, this is "old news" to some ... but it wasn't to me.

With the news that the musical score from The Dark Knight has been disqualified from Academy Awards consideration on the grounds that too many people were credited with composing it, outrage against the Academy's stringent, complicated rules has erupted afresh. In the interest of fueling this indignation and making the world an angrier place, let's take a belligerent march down memory lane and look at seven other controversial disqualifications.

The Jazz Singer disqualified for being a talkie. When the very first Academy Awards were held in May 1929, honoring films released between August 1927 and July 1928, everyone was talking about The Jazz Singer -- the first feature-length movie to use recorded sound in some of its talking and singing scenes. So great was the attention that the Academy disqualified the film from the inaugural Best Picture category, reasoning that its use of sound put it on an uneven playing field against the films still stuck in silence. Instead, the Academy gave Warner Bros. a special award "for producing The Jazz Singer, the pioneer outstanding talking picture, which has revolutionized the industry." It's true, too! I don't know if you've noticed, but pretty much all movies nowadays have talking in them.

Young Americans disqualified from Best Documentary category ... after it already won. Whoops. This is a sad case, and a unique one. The documentary, about the peppy Young Americans show choir, won the Oscar at the 1969 ceremony for being the best feature-length documentary of 1968. But a few weeks later, the Academy discovered that the film had screened at a theater in October 1967, making it eligible for that year's awards and not for 1968. The Academy actually took back the Oscar statues from the filmmakers, Alex Grasshoff and Robert Cohn, and gave the award to the film that had been first runner-up. When Grasshoff died earlier this year, his widow told the Los Angeles Times how heartbroken he'd been. Can you imagine?